© Kat Morgan 1999/2000

In Name Only

Chapter 38: The Kiss

Kat stared down at him as he sobbed in her lap. She was in turmoil – not knowing what to do, what to say. He knew. He was here. He was crying. This big, strong, proud man was here, in pieces in front of her.

Why was he here? How dare he be here? After all the hurt he’d caused her. How dare he come here to her?

Gods, she loved him so much.

Her hand moved of its own volition, running its fingers through his short dark hair. Trying to stroke away his pain. She didn’t even realize she was crying herself until a teardrop fell onto the back of her hand. Why was she crying? Why was he here?

Kevin slowly lifted his head, looking at her. The hurt, the pain, the love, the confusion, the desire was naked in his eyes and she couldn’t turn away. The emerald hue of his eyes was back, as if the tears has bleached away all of the dreariness that had been there. Her other hand moved, cupping his face, as she watched one tear roll down his chiseled cheek.

She wanted to yell at him. To strike out at him. To hit him. To focus all the pain and loss she’d felt for so long on him.

Instead she kissed him.

Leaning in, her dark eyes open, not releasing his verdant gaze. Just a gentle brush of her lips against his. Tasting the salt from his, their tears. A slow caress.

It wasn’t enough.

She closed her eyes, leaning in further, pulling him closer.

This time it was fierce. She attacked his mouth and he responded in kind. Fighting with each other, their tongues dueling as they tried to find some release. To pour out all of the despair from the last few months.

She could feel her teeth pressing against his, separated only by the thin tissue of their lips. His whiskers cut into her flesh, as his hands gripped her hair, twisting it around his fingers, nails biting into her scalp as he pulled her closer. She crushing his nose with hers.

The kiss was all pain now -- no pleasure. They were channeling the rage through their hands and mouths.

Damn you for making me think that you’d…with Mindy…with Nick…with anyone other than me.

Damn you for telling me you loved me then walking away.

Damn you for pushing me away, for leaving me.

Damn you for not being there all those nights I cried myself into unconsciousness.

Damn you, I needed you.

How could you leave me?

Don’t you know how I felt?

Don’t you know I can’t breathe without you?

The salt from the tears they continued to shed was stinging the physical wounds they were inflicting on each other, as they still battled the emotional ones. The burning sensation slowly sank in, their minds realizing where they were. That they were finally, at last, in each other’s arms.

They backed away slowly, nails no longer biting into skin, hands no longer grasping harshly.

The kiss lost its brutality. Gradually it turned into one of passion, hunger.

You’re here.

I missed you so much.

I needed you so much.

I wanted you so much.

The way you taste.

The way you feel in my arms.

The way you would stroke my face, the way you are doing now.

The feel of your skin against mine.

Why were you gone so long?

Even then the kiss slowed. The hunger, the fervor, the feeling of starvation was gone. Now they just tried to drink each other in, carefully, gently. Delicately caressing their bruised faces. Lightly stroking tongues. Giving pleasure. Showing each other the delight, the joy to be in each other’s arms.

The way your skin feels.

So pliant, silky, strong.

I could touch you forever.

The way you taste.

The way you kiss me.

Are your lips as battered as mine? Let me be more gentle.

I just don’t want to stop kissing you.

Just let me kiss you.

I love to kiss you.

I love you.

Chapter 39